过于熟悉的因果

Am reading an interesting book: The Alchemist by Paul Coelho.

It wasn't a new book and in fact, i have read it once a few years ago. however, i failed to comprehend what the book really meant back then. its abt destiny, dreams and exploring n going after one's dream.

I managed to try to read it one more time today n came across a very meaningful n interesting quote. 1 i am sure is applicable to everyone here, n more so for myself.

"When someone sees the same people every day, ...... they wind up becoming a part of that person's life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own." -- Paul Coelho, The Alchemist, pg. 16.

This quote actually reminds me of another concept which I've mentioned years ago in my old blog, one which i have quite forgotten until recently: Familiarity Breeds Contempt. It is an old, old concept of which it simple means: "the more you know something or someone, the more you start to find faults and dislike things about it or them."

Why Familiarity breeds Contempt
This article was published in an underground "zine" called Kosh Dude during 1994.

It seems strange that such a nice concept like familiarity would create such an unpleasant emotion like contempt. Getting to know a friend should deepen the relationship rather than strain it. Unfortunately there are many people who ruin friendships by becoming too possessive.

Most friendships start out innocently enough. Two people meet and find that they have common interests. This makes them want to find out more and more about each other. The problems begin when one person starts to tell the other how they should live and what they should do. Things get worse when that friend starts worrying too much about the other's actions and decisions. Because people resent it when others interfere with their personal business, arguments usually erupt. The bonds that were so lovingly forged between themselves are destroyed, sometimes permanently.

Because many people don't realize this fact, many good friendships are ruined. If people would back off and let their friends make their own decisions, it would strengthen the relationship. After all, it is easier to respect a person who gives council rather than nagging. Friendships also last longer when people respect each other's right to self determination and privacy. Having had extensive experience with well-meaning folks poking their noses into my affairs, I know whereof I speak.

I have posted this article b4 in my old blog, n i forgotten all abt it after all these years. I did in the past, tried to change many things that i'm not happy about, failing to see n understand the point that by making others become what they are not is actually harder and more damaging than living with and accepting their "bad points". Letting others be whoever they want to be is not that bad, because me myself is not that perfect also. We let the ppl ard us be themselves freely and accept them as they are. Therefore, it is best i stay where i am now...